Friday, June 18, 2010

Politicoffee

My friend Brian and I started talking about ARCO coffee a few days ago, and Brian, who has pretty much the exact opposite political views as me, suggested that maybe ARCO coffee could make something called anARCO coffee.

I thought that was an excellent idea and then couldn't get it out of my mind. I came up with this ad:

Two people stand on a white background, like the "I'm a Mac" ads. One is wearing a black t-shirt with the red circle A; the other with a worker's cap and red flag.

Anarchist: Same bosses, left or right!

Leftist: Workers of the world, unite!

Voice over: Even when people fight on opposite ends of the political spectrum, they understand the importance of a good cup of coffee.

Anarchist: Coffee has integrity just like a man. And just as seldom.

Leftist: Communism is Soviet power plus strong coffee for the nation.

VO: That's why revolutionaries of all stripes pick anARCO coffee.

(The two figures are handed cups of coffee, look suspiciously at the other's, then drink, and are obviously delighted.)

VO: anARCO pays careful attention to each and every bean in the individualist fashion it deserves without sacrificing its personal freedom, then combines them in a variety of roasts and blends to satisfy even the dirtiest communal-minded hippies.

Anarchist: I prefer the Rothbard Roast! It's blacker than even the most hardened libertarian's heart.

Leftist: New Deal Dark wakes me up in the morning, so I'm ready for a day of fighting the bosses, and imposing state will on people who have no choice!

VO: So if you're a revolutionary, choose the revolutionary coffee. anARCO.

(Shot of can of anARCO. Voice over says quietly: Also available in decaffeinated centrist; sure to satisfy nobody at all.)


Hilarity ensued. Brian suggested Spooner flavored creams for the "shooshy-foophy crowd" (his term, I love it) and Haile Salaise dark Ethiopian Freedom Roast. I came up with Marx Mocha (which has no mocha in it, because it's a symbol of the decadence of the bourgeoisie), the Ayn Rand Special ("Coffee is Coffee"), and the French Revolution Roast.

Any others? We cracked ourselves up.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:42 PM

    LOVE this! ~Mindy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1:42 PM

    LOVE this! ~Mindy

    ReplyDelete
  3. funnie3:22 PM

    Added perk: pun initially unintentional, you can put the same coffee in both the Rand and the Marx packages! It's funny to imagine how mad she'd get about that. Especially since she couldn't even complain! Selling the same product in two packages to two distinct groups is an imaginative way to double your market while the substitutability gives you the ability to swiftly address supply/demand issues based on political whims...it's acting in your own best interest! Hooray for YOU! YOU! YOU! Get that money!

    I picture French Revolution as a method, as well as a roast. Cafe au lait: the gallic capuccino (w/o head).

    ReplyDelete