Scene: Driving Maia to a party
Supporting role: Me
Maia is very, very excited because she is going to a swim party.
Maia: (Sigh.) Maybe Kaden will be there. He and Claire are friends, maybe he will be there too. Oooo, I'm so excited! I can't wait to get there! Drive faster, Mama, but DON'T run any red lights and DON'T run into people. (Imperiously) If there's a car in front of you, wait until it goes!
Me: Alrighty then!
Maia: (Sigh.) Is this a dream?
Silence for a beat.
Maia: Is this a dream, because it's so sunny?
Me: You think you're in a dream because the sun is out?
Maia: Yeah. I think I'm going to rub my eyes now because I think this is a dream and I'll see if I wake up. (Pause.) Nope! It really IS this sunny!
John is charged with cleaning the bathroom. I go out and run a few errands. I come home and smell aftershave, which is odd -- even though I know Matt is home, he'll be working later, so there's no reason for him to shave. John comes bouncing out of the bathroom, dressed in flannel pants and a pirate bandanna on his head, and shirtless, and looking guilty.
Me: Hey. How's it going with the cleaning?
John: Um. Good. Um.
Me: You about done?
John: Um. Yes. I scrubbed the sink and the toilet, and, um, took the towels downstairs, and swept the floor. Yeah.
Me: Did Dad shave?
Me: Were you messing with the aftershave? Did you put some on? I can smell it.
John (heaving shoulders): UM. Mom? Um, I think I made a bad choice.
Me: Which is?
John (deep breath, then speaks very quickly): Well, um, when I was done cleaning, I got out Dad's aftershave and wiped down the bathroom with it so it would smell nice. (Holds breath, bites lip.)
Me: Uh. Really?
Me: Oh. Well. Don't do that again.
John: I'M REALLY SORRY!
Me: That's OK! Just...don't do it again.