Matt: How old do you suppose John has to be to see "Slapshot"?
Me considers, then: Fifteen.
Matt: That's what I was thinking, too.
Me: And not in this house.
Me: He'll be over at Hockey Friend's house, and Hockey Friend, who has been watching it since, you know, now, will pull it out and say, "John, you ever see this movie?"
Matt: That's exactly what will happen.
Me: And I want to be far, far away when it does.