Thursday, September 07, 2006

Put The Rhetoric Down, Krup

Why is it, when the subject of allowing gay people to formalize their relationship through the government and have it recognized by insurance companies, health-care providers, and the state itself, people like Michele Bachmann* get all frothy and want to amend the hell out of the Constitution by offering things like Section 13: Sec. 13. Only the union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota. Any other relationship shall not be recognized as a marriage or its legal equivalent.

Which you can see would probaby have some results she wasn't looking for.

And then, when the subject of making sure that gay and lesbian students don't face discrimination in schools by passing a law against it (which of course like any law doesn't prevent the offense, but outlines enforcement and punishment) in California, Schwarzenegger says, "We have laws to protect people and I think we don't need additional laws."

More laws! Wait! No, we have enough laws! WAIT! Amend the constitution! Uh, outlaw homosexuality! Uh, WAIT! We don't have do! Do we? Uh.

I love comparing apples and oranges to make weak points. But, argh.

* That link doesn't take you to her site. It takes you to the Dump Bachmann site.


  1. Sharikov1:22 PM

    Krupska, Krupotchka, Krupyionotchka, glupenkaya!

    Why do I always have to explain these simple things over and over again to you?

    Remember why women can't be priests? Well, just apply these simple lessons to this argument.

    1) Men are sticky.
    2) Women are slippery.

    That gay marriage would destroy traditional family and society as we know it is thus easily demonstrable.

    If you put two stickies together, then they will always be together and can't be pried apart. Clearly this would be disheartening to straight couples who are breaking up or divorcing all the time. Watching gay men form lasting, inseperable bonds would cause hetero morale to drop, leading to fewer and fewer relationships, less kids, breakdown of society, etc.

    Also - what happens if the gay men WANT a divorce - why no court could make it effective! (Just as no religion can make ordination stick to a slippery woman, no institution could unstick two sticky gay men.)

    With lesbian couples it is perhaps less intuitive, but if you follow me, you too shall be enlightened.

    First, just as you can't make ordination stick to a slippery woman, you can't make the sacrament of marriage stick when you have twice the slipperiness. As current divorce rates show, it is tough enough with a sticky and a slippery. (You may think I am implying that divorces are always the fault of women. I am. But that's another discussion. Just read Genesis, you slippery apple-picker.)

    In addition, if slippery lesbians are to be allowed to put their love on public display, then certainly government and business will grind to a halt, putting us at the mercy of our Islamofascist foes. It's tough enough to keep us men on track when those sorts of things are limited to Hustler magazine and certain web sites. You may as well just hand Osama the keys to the White House right now.

    Come on Krup, use logic. (I know, I know, wrong gender.)

  2. Next time, I'm going have you screen my post before I put it up. If it's OK with you, of course. That sort of wisdom is just going to slide right out of my slippery head, and I think your stickiness isjust what my writing needs.

  3. Oh my golly goodness, that explanation is about the most beautiful piece of wacko logic I have ever read. I think I'm gonna cry.