Tuesday, November 16, 2004

[Trumpet Fanfare]

Even while our Great and Glorious Leader is cleaning house and elevating more loyal servants to higher positions in order to drive our country to its shining future, perhaps you are feeling a little down after the election.

I don't mean anything so traitorous as wondering if your vote was counted or if Fox News really IS the truth...I mean just a small let-down after the joy and goodness brought to our country after the election, like the day after your birthday.

If so, may I direct you to the REPUBLICAN FREEDOM CALENDAR!!!!!!!!!

As announced from the House floor by Representative Christopher Cox (R-California), this handy online calendar is chock-full of the beauty, truth and Heaven-sent moral superiority of the Republicans as well as the slimy, stinky traitorous treason of the Democrats. On every day is a fun fact from the Grand Old Party's history to uplift you in your search and quest to be ever closer to our Great and Glorious Leader and the patriotic men who built this lovely nation.

This download-able and graphically appealing calendar is appropriate for use in failing public schools as a history text, as evidenced by the entry for December 26: 12/26/91: Republican Barbara Franklin nominated as first woman to Secretary of Commerce.

(Pssst...none of the kids in those schools will know that the first woman secretary of commerce was actually Juanita Kreps, 1977-79, so it's no biggie that there's a misprint.)

In any case, download NOW! AND ALL HAIL OUR GREAT RULER AND THE PARTY HE RODE IN ON!!!!!!!!

/sarcasm off. Let me know if you find any other errors.

2 comments:

  1. From the calendar: "The Republican Party... would eventually become the mightiest force for individual liberty in the history of the world." Indeed. Other than the fact that they don't believe women should have individual liberty to make decisions about their own bodies. And gay people shouldn't have the individual liberty to file a joint tax return with their life partners. And immigrants to this country who happen to be Muslim don't have individual liberty to avoid being rounded up and held without a lawyer or charges. But other than that, the Republican Party truly is the mightiest force for individual liberty in the history of the world.

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  2. Heh heh. Yeah, that'd be a pretty big error.
    Hey, and this just in: http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~45~2536893,00.html
    And they thought we were kidding, eh?

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